New Parents: Baby Care Top Tips

Introduction

It can feel overwhelming to have a brand-new baby. Everyone talks about the sweetness of the first word, the first step, the first smile – but what about before all that? With so much conflicting advice out there, it can be hard to tell right from wrong.

We know you want the best for your baby, so we’ve put together this short but informative guide to help you through the newborn stage. When your baby is at their most fragile and you’re tired all the time, and when it starts to feel like everything is wrong, we can help! It doesn’t hold all the answers, but don’t worry – there isn’t one right answer!

Remember, you’re a parent. When it comes to your baby, you know what’s best. This guide is a tool to help you adjust to the amazing new life you’ve created, and help you on the right track to giving your baby the best possible start to life – and yourself the best possible start to parenthood!

There are four sections in this little book, covering a wide range of questions first-time parents might experience. They are:

1. What You Need to Know About Having a Newborn.
2. How Do You Survive the First Week with a Newborn?
3. What to Do with a Newborn.
4. What Shouldn’t You Do with a Newborn?

You can follow the above links to take you directly to the relevant section or read the whole article in written order.

Every child is different. Even from the moment of birth, your baby is developing their own personality! There’ll be unusual noises, quirks, and behaviours depending on the baby. Still, all of the following are factors that can help shape their minds, emotions, and intellects for their best possible future.

So take a breath, get yourself a cup of tea, and let’s get started.

Part 1: What You Need to Know About Having a Newborn

There’s a lot of information that doesn’t get covered in the movies, and other caregivers and parents don’t always talk about it much either! Newborns aren’t all the same, of course, but it’s essential to know that they all share some common traits which may surprise or even worry you at first.

The good news: you don’t have to worry! All of this is normal. Here are the top ten surprises you might not have realised about having a newborn baby.

1. Your baby’s poop is going to look odd for a little while

Don’t be alarmed! Your baby has spent a whole lot of time only getting nutrients from the placenta, and now they’re exposed to milk and air and all sorts of strange new substances! The little one’s body needs to adapt to its new environment, and poop is a big part of that.

Babies are well known for filling stinky nappies. Still, the baby’s first stool, known as the meconium, has the following surprising features. Don’t worry, they’re all perfectly normal!

• It’s sticky, thick, and somewhere between liquid and solid, like tar.
• It has a green and/or black tinge.
• It’s formed from the remnants inside the foetal intestine, and will clear up!
• It proves that the baby’s bowels are functioning well and healthily!

After this, the baby will have some transitional poops. These are between the meconium stage and the stage that you’ll be changing nappies with for the next while! Transitional stools might look odd, but all of these features are normal.

• Usually start 24 hours after birth, when all of the meconium has made its way out.
• They are very loose and sometimes speckled like seeds.
• They are yellowish-green.
• They sometimes contain blood. Don’t be alarmed! This is because the baby sometimes swallows blood on delivery. You can check any bloody nappies with your GP, nurse, or health visitor just in case.

Finally, the baby will graduate to regular baby poop, which will look a little different depending on whether you breastfeed or formula feed.

Breastfed baby poop is:

• Yellowish
• Loose – like water, seeds, mush, etc.

Formula-fed baby poop is:

• Soft
• More solid
• Any range of colours from brown to yellow to green.

As well, a newborn can poop seven times a day or only once in the course of seven days – their digestive tract is still getting used to it all! It doesn’t mean constipation or diarrhoea; be patient. Make sure to use plenty of petroleum jelly to stop sticking or nappy rash!

2. Your baby has bad eyesight for a while, but their sense of smell and taste are already there.

If you think your baby can’t see very well, don’t worry – you don’t need to be calling the optician quite yet! Keep an eye out for irregularities, of course, but the following are all normal for the sight of newborn babies.

• Newborns are very sensitive to light and may not open their eyes if it is too bright
• They can focus better on toys, black-and-white pictures, and other things with bold, distinct colours!
• In optician terms, their vision ranges from 20/200 and 20/400 – in layman’s terms, this means they can see at most around 30cm from their face.
• A newborn baby’s eyes might cross or seem to move outwards. Their eye muscles are still week, and this will generally correct itself!

Your baby’s sense of smell and taste, though, developed in the womb. Newborns:

• Turn towards smells they like and away from scents they don’t
• Recognise you by your scent more than by sight
• Prefer sweet tastes and dislike bitter and sour flavors, but individual tastes will develop over the first year of life.

3. Babies are much noisier than you think!

You may be picturing a silent little angel who only moves to ask for food. This isn’t quite the case! As well as crying, it’s totally normal for your newborn to:

• Hiccup
• Snort, especially when sleeping deeply.
• Gurgle
• Change breathing patterns when sleeping, eating, etc.
• Grunt, especially when passing stool.
• Whistle through the nose when breathing

You will get to know your baby’s breathing, and irregularities won’t be too hard to spot. Just don’t worry about every sniffle!

4. New babies need a lot of fuel, and that means a lot of crying.

For better or worse, crying is pretty much the only way a newborn can communicate. It’s how your new baby is going to let you know they’re too warm, too cold, uncomfortable, pooping, or, most importantly, hungry!

An average baby between birth and six weeks cries for two hours in total every day. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong!

The best processes for food in newborns are:

• Milk only – don’t be tempted to start them on solids too early, no matter how often they seem to be hungry!
• Feeding every 2 to 3 hours – that means 8-12 feeds in any 24-hour period.
• Half an ounce of milk for the first two days, rising to 1-2 ounces until 2 weeks, then 2-3 ounces.

5. Tummy time is important

Your baby can’t roll by themselves as a newborn! However, it’s good for a young baby to spend a lot of time on their tummy while they are awake and supervised. Don’t put a newborn to sleep on their belly!

Some of the benefits of tummy time include:

• Reducing the risk of flat spots on a still-pliable skull
• Building strength that they’ll later use to roll and sit by themselves
• Promoting motor skills
• Developing stronger neck and shoulder muscles

6. Expect changes!

Your baby might have big blue eyes, but there’s no guarantee they’ll stay that way. Blue or grey irises are standard at birth. Nevertheless, the final colour will shift as the baby grows. It will depend on the production of melanin (the same thing that decides hair and skin colour). The level of melanin determines the final colour, which may not settle for several months.

A little more alarming to some parents is swelling around genitals or the nipple/breast area. These are both normal in any sex and are part of the baby’s final development! They’re because the baby had access to the same hormone influx while in the womb that prepares the mother’s body to give birth and produce milk.

7. The baby might sleep a lot, but not through the night

Some new parents think that because their newborn sleeps a lot through the day, they’ll sleep all night too, and they won’t have to worry about the sleepless nights for a few months. Sadly, this is not the case! Your newborn doesn’t have a concept of a sleep schedule – they sleep when they’re tired and cry when they’re hungry, and remember, that’s every 2-3 hours!

8. Your baby might look a bit like an alien!

That’s normal too! Your baby is likely to start out life with some traits that make them look unsettling rather than like the cute babies in movies. The secret here is that the babies used on screen are always much older! Typical newborn traits include:

• A pink, purplish, or reddish tint to their skin regardless of their race
• Swollen genitals/breasts (see 6)
• Nipple discharge
• Pointy or misshapen heads for babies born vaginally (called moulding)
• Soft, diamond-shaped spots on the skull that are gaps in the forming skull called fontanels.
• Curled arms and legs
• Jaundice (This is a yellowy tinge to the skin – mention this to your health visitor, but don’t worry. Half of all newborns get a slight case!)
• Milia – small white or yellow “pimples” on their skin that go away by themselves
• Floppy ears and swollen nose
• Surprising or unusual hair type or colour which will likely change

9. A newborn’s skin is strange and delicate

Rashes are normal and usually go away on their own. Peeling skin is normal too. If your baby is premature, their skin might look a little see-through – don’t worry, this will pass!

You don’t need to bathe your newborn every day, and if you are using lotions, make sure they don’t have lots of different fragrances that may irritate their skin.

Most importantly, leave the umbilical cord stump alone. It’s tempting to try to get rid of it by yourself, but this can damage your baby! It’ll fall off on its own by about a month or earlier, sometimes with a little blood (which you also don’t’ have to worry about). If it takes longer, contact a doctor, but don’t try to remove it!

10. It’s okay to feel conflicting emotions

Not everyone feels the instant bond with their baby that we’re so often exposed to in the media. That doesn’t make you a bad parent! Even if it takes a while, remember: a week ago, this whole person didn’t exist! Adjustment periods are natural.

As well, don’t be afraid to cuddle and touch. You’re not spoiling the baby! You’re getting them used to the world and encouraging bonding between you.

Be prepared for the slowest and quickest days of your life!

Part 2: How Do You Survive the First Week with a Newborn?

So, you know from part one what to expect from the baby, but what can you expect from yourself? Let’s keep it short and simple with some top points on what to do and not to do to keep yourself and your baby sane and healthy.

The following  five sections cover most of the crucial parts of those all-important first little while of your baby’s life. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. It isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be difficult, either! And remember, you aren’t a machine, and nor should you be.

Cuddling and holding

• Spend a lot of time cuddling and handling the baby. It’ll help the bonding process for you both.
• Always support your baby’s head. Their neck isn’t strong enough to do so themselves yet.
• Swaddling works for newborns but shouldn’t be used after 2 months
• Talk and sing to your baby when possible to help language and emotional development
• Shaking a baby, even in play, is dangerous – don’t ever shake a newborn baby.
• Skin-to-skin contact is essential.

Feeding

• Burp your baby after every feed to help prevent trapped air
• You should feed your newborn whenever they’re hungry!
• A well-fed baby produces about six wet nappies a day.
• Keep baby upright after feeds for 10-15 mins

Changing and bathing

• Don’t panic about nappies – they’re pretty straightforward. Just make sure you have all your supplies ready!
• Have nappies, nappy cream and/or petroleum jelly, fragrance-free wipes, nappy bags, and cotton buds with water for the first few days.
• Sponge bathe until the umbilical stump is gone before you try tub baths.
• During the first tub bath, keep it gentle and short, pouring a little water at a time. If the baby gets upset, it’s okay to go back to sponge bathing for a while.
• Keep the umbilical cord area clean and consult your health visitor or GP if there are any concerns. It will turn brown or black before it falls up – this isn’t a cause for worry.

Sleeping

• Always put babies to sleep on their backs
• Expect them to wake up every 2-4 hours looking for food.
• Some babies are more awake at night – keep lights low when you can.
• Don’t use blankets, quilts, teddy bears, or pillows in their crib
• Change their head position every night

Relaxing!

• Use your resources! There is a lot of help out there, and no shame in using it. Nobody is born with every skill. You don’t have to do it alone, and you can consult:
  • Nurses
  • Your health visitor
  • Your GP
  • Parenting groups
  • Friends and family
• Don’t feel obligated to allow everyone to visit at first. Accept help if you need it, but don’t overwhelm yourself or your baby!
• Sleep or do something relaxing while baby sleeps
• Allow yourself time to adjust.
• You aren’t a bad person or a bad parent if you take a few minutes to yourself as long as someone else is watching the baby!
• Get outside as much as you can, even if it’s just taking the newborn for walks.
• Focus on one task at a time
• Be kind to yourself. Your body and mind are essential, too!

Part 3: What to Do with a Newborn.

They can’t move much by themselves, see very far, play with toys, or hold a conversation – so what can your newborn baby do? More importantly, what can you do that’ll help you feel like you’re bonding with your baby and helping introduce them to the brand-new world you’ve given them?

As well as that, if you’re home on parental leave, what are you supposed to do with yourself? You’re not working, but the baby needs attention. What kind of balance do you need?

Don’t be concerned – you’re not the first person to go through this, and you’re definitely not the first one to worry about it! Here are some hints and tips.

1. Get to know one another

You don’t need to be able to talk to get to know your baby. Introduce the newborn to any siblings slowly and gently and be around as much as possible.

Your baby will get used to your smell, the sound of your voice, how your skin feels, how their milk tastes, and how you look up close! Your baby’s senses are developing rapidly, and you will be the focus.

Talk and sing to your baby as much as you can, but you should also mimic them. If they make a cooing sound, coo back! That’s how we learn the art of conversation.

As well, you’ll get to know your individual baby’s sleep pattern and preferences. Follow their lead! If they like the sound of a specific toy, then play with that toy more often.

2. Don’t give up on routines. Instead, get baby involved!

Carry your baby with you and talk them through basic daily tasks, including:

• Laundry
• Pet walks and pet feeding
• Cleaning the dishes and putting them away
• Watching tv or reading books
• Cooking dinner

You might feel a little silly at first, talking out loud and describing things all the time. If it helps, pretend you’re making a podcast or video for your baby! Sure, they can’t understand everything you’re saying. Still, your every word is causing changes in their brain as they quickly learn language, associations, and even objects.

3. Don’t worry if it feels like you’re doing nothing but changing diapers, feeding, and sleeping

It might feel like you’re being overwhelmed, but here’s a secret – that first week, all you’re really doing is the above! They take up much more time than you might think, especially when you’re not used to incorporating them into your routine.

You and baby will find your own rhythm. For now, time in the outside world doesn’t matter so much. This is the time for you to seek out your own harmony.

4. Develop neck, shoulder, and eye strength

We talked in another part about tummy time, but here’s a refresher. Your baby should spend a lot of time on their tummy to help develop their muscles. Make sure this is all supervised!

If you want to play with your baby, a simple solution is to lay down a quilt, lay down next to the baby, and show them toys and mirrors. See what their eyes follow. They’ll soon have favourites, even if they can’t tell you so!

5. Describe everything!

This isn’t just limited to when you’re doing your chores! While you’re exploring the home and the outside with your new baby, remember that this is the first time they’ve ever seen anything!

Narrate the world like you’d tell a story. Here are some common concepts to introduce your baby to its new home.

• Encourage siblings to chat and introduce them by name and title to your baby.
  • “This is Susie, your big sister!” or “This is your big brother, his name is Andrew!”
• Say hi to nature!
  • Say hello to the sun, the clouds, the sky
  • “This is called grass! It’s green and grows everywhere, and cows like to eat it.”
• Introduce your pets.
  • “Say hi to Rex! Rex is our dog! He’s an animal, like our fish. The fish is called Splashy!”
• Don’t feel too silly if you’re not used to speaking in the third person. Your baby needs to know who you are, too!
  • “Mummy loves you very much!” “Daddy needs to change your nappy!”

6. Ask questions

No, your baby won’t answer, but your tone is incredibly important. As well as describing everything, you should ask how the baby is feeling and what they want. They’ll subconsciously learn that you care for their needs and what they want. Try asking questions like:

• “Do you feel how cold it is today?”
• “Do you like the red toy? Do you prefer the blue one?”
• “Why are you so smiley?”
• “Did you poop?”
• “You like your daddy’s voice, don’t you?”

7. Read together

Like talking, reading board books, and pointing out and naming pictures will help your baby learn linguistic skills and help strengthen your bond. It might be a bit more exciting for you than just talking to yourself, too!

As well as board books, you can read other stories out loud. Your baby won’t understand the story, of course, but it will help relax you, and the steady tone of your voice will soothe the newborn, too.

8. Make faces!

Your baby will start trying to mimic you, and one way you can help with their motor development is by making silly faces at them and watching how they react. This can involve everything from sticking out your tongue to screwing up your eyes!

9. Use music

Listening to music together helps you and your baby to bond just as much as talking and reading together will. As well as this, the right kind of music can have great benefits for your baby!

• Classical music at bedtime is proven to soothe and help guide your baby to sleep
• Gentle swaying and cuddling to soft music are hugely comforting to your baby.
• Upbeat music like a nursery rhyme (but not too loud!) can help when your baby is trying to be alert and get to know the world.

10. Try a game like hide and seek

Your baby doesn’t have full spatial awareness yet. This means you can play hide and seek without having to go anywhere! Use your hands or a cloth to hide your eyes, and then – peekaboo!

As well, you can play with textured or noisy toys by guiding your baby’s hands to touch. Don’t rattle or play any loud sounds too near their ears, though – remember, their hearing is very sensitive!

Part 4: What Shouldn’t You Do with a Newborn?

Okay, so now you have some idea about the things you can do – but what about the things you can’t? Babies are incredibly fragile, and it can feel overwhelming (and a bit scary!) to think about all the ways things can go wrong!

Especially in this age where every story is available at the click of a button, you’ve probably heard a whole ton of horror stories. Everything from SIDS to Shaken Baby Syndrome is rattling in your brain, and it can sometimes make you feel paranoid and paralysed when you try to do anything at all!

There’s no need to worry, though. As before, we’ve put together some tips to help you relax into what you should avoid. Hopefully, it’ll help you avoid worries as much as possible and get right to enjoying your time with your baby!

1. Don’t leave your baby to cry for too long

Think about it: if you’re suffering, do you want it to end before or after you have to cry out for help? You don’t need to jump in every single time there are tears, and leaving them to cry for a little bit isn’t a crime as it’s better than dealing with the baby when you’re too frustrated.

However, when you can, deal with problems as soon as they arise, if not before. Your baby can’t talk, but they will be able to show you some non-verbal signals from very early on.

• If they’re grunting, check for poop
• If they’re fussy, adjust their position
• Try to keep a regular feeding schedule (every 2-3 hours) to stop the need for hungry tears!
• Smiles, frowns, snorts, and all sorts of small signals will stand out to you as their parent as they don’t to anyone else
• Every baby is different, and you’ll soon adjust to your own baby’s individual non-verbal cues.

2. Never leave your baby alone for longer than a few minutes

Your newborn can’t even roll on their stomach by themselves, much less entertain themselves! You needn’t be actively interacting with the baby at every point 24/7 – especially not when they sleep! – but it’s essential to keep them in sight at all times. You should also use physical contact and stimulation as much as possible.

• Your baby’s crib should be in your room for at least the first few months of their life
• Your baby is new to the world and can’t understand anything yet. Imagine being in a foreign country without any company or any idea what’s going on!
• Babies can’t learn independence by force. This comes later, and it certainly won’t happen with your newborn.
• All mammals seek family contact. At the end of the day, we’re no different from baby monkeys or apes (just a bit more complicated!)
• Babies without company will quickly get distressed.

Never just ignore your baby

If you have older children, you likely know how frustrating it is when you ask them to do something five hundred times, and it seems to fall on deaf ears. Now place that in a context where what you’re asking them to do is fulfil your basic needs, you have no way to do these things yourself, and they speak another language.

The scenario quickly goes from frustrating to scary, doesn’t it?

Some parents talk or sing to the baby in the womb, and while there are disagreements on whether this is effective, it certainly doesn’t do any harm. After birth, though, there’s almost unilateral agreement – attention and affection for newborns are essential.

• Babies need to learn to communicate. This means responsive behaviours like cooing when they coo, responding to their cries, and recognising their non-verbal symbols.
• Babies who don’t experience these things are significantly more likely to need help with forming friendships and communication skills later in life.
• Behavioural patterns learned in early life will affect the baby forever.
• Responsive communication helps your baby, but it also helps you to build your relationship with them as a person.
• As well as social skills, communication helps with emotional development and intellect, as well as developing a conscience.

4. Don’t skimp on skin-to-skin contact

It’s been mentioned a few times, but there is no way to emphasise enough how absolutely essential skin-to-skin connection is for a newborn child and their parents. Being able to feel safe and connected in your arms will help them throughout their lives as they grow. After all – everyone loves a hug, and babies need to find a baseline!

• Skin-to-skin contact helps reduce stress later in life by encouraging positive hormone flow and positive brain connections.
• Babies who do not spend enough time relaxing in their parents’ arms are more likely to experience feelings of loneliness, neglect, sadness, and touch-averseness later in life.
• Newborns especially should be held as often as possible, though this should continue to some degree as they grow.
• Serotonin and oxycontin are good for your baby’s mood and development. They’re known as the happiness hormone and the love hormone for a reason. And what more do you want for your newborn baby than happiness and love?

5. Never punish a newborn baby!

A baby screaming relentlessly and refusing to calm down no matter what you do is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. No matter what, though, punishment isn’t the answer. Your baby certainly won’t learn anything from it – and no doubt you’ll be left feeling pretty bad, as well.

Babies don’t have a sense of morality, especially so soon after birth. All they know is what feels good and what feels bad. If you yell at, isolate, or otherwise punish a newborn baby, they are not learning to behave differently. They are just learning that their caregiver wants them to suffer – and they’ll probably cry more.

• For children of any age, physical punishment tends to increase bad behaviour rather than stop it.
• A newborn will lose trust in their parent or caregiver if they are punished. This can have long term effects – you’re the first person they ever trusted, after all. It could lead to trust issues later in life.
• Punishment for crying or fussing can lead to your baby becoming reluctant to communicate at all. This could lead to speech and communication issues later in life. It could also affect motivation to learn, which can damage intellect.
• Your baby might take the lesson that making any noise around you is unsafe, and you’ll lose the ability to communicate one-to-one.
• You should lower the expectations you have for your baby – but also lower the expectations you have for yourself.
• Relaxing can be hard at times for both parents and children, but for a newborn, punishment is never the answer.

Conclusion

The four sections covered in this baby care tips for new parents guide can’t possibly begin to encapsulate every eventuality and discovery you’ll make with your newborn. However, it’s good to know that you’re not the only one out there experiencing these strange new things!

All the advice can get overwhelming, so what this guide has tried to do is break it down to its very basics. What do you need to know? How do you do the fundamental parts of caring for a newborn? What’s normal and what isn’t? Who can you ask for help when you need it?

All of that and a little more is covered in brief above. Of course, you shouldn’t be afraid to research any of the above points further on your own if you wish. Knowledge is powerful! However, be careful of the sources you use. There are seven billion people in the world – and it sometimes feels like there are seven billion different approaches to parenting!

If in doubt, talk to a professional (such as your health visitor) before going online. If you do use the internet, try parenting forums and spaces set aside for parents of newborn children. It can help to know that we’re all learning together, even when it feels like you’re doing everything wrong!

Most importantly, remember that your newborn is a person, not just your baby. You have been granted an enormous responsibility – loving and nurturing a child so that they may grow into the best part of the next generation.

Show love, show kindness, show patience and care. Spend time together, take it easy on yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.

These baby care tips sounds so simple written out like that, doesn’t it? Nobody’s claiming it’s easy, but going ahead, know for sure that you can handle this in the best way for both yourself and your baby.

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